Eccentricity of the Idea...Convergence of the Idea.

I’m not sure how it is supposed to be.Or how I’m supposed to feel today,at this very instance.

Life is what happened when I was just about beginning to settle into my empty clan .And then along came You.And thus started this incredible ride. Up and Down. Falling sideways and then back on Top. Having you always...With me...In me.

In moments of temporary sanity or insanity (I’m still not sure which) I would reflect where this was all going to lead to. I always knew we were going separate ways. We were honest,at least, about that.
After much disarrayed thought I’d state to myself (and eventually to you) my
‘Plan of Action’ – unusually rational and self-satisfying. For both. Fair enough. Strangers after Love. Life after Life. Made sense.

I keep justifying heaven knows what in my head. Every second.

Everyone says ‘Everything happens for a reason’. We’ve heard that too many times before. And I don’t see how that is empathetic in any way because that is just one hell of a bloody depressing sentence (excuse the language)!! No offence. I’ve told you time and again,it’s almost like one’s just trying to pacify oneself or others by GIVING reason to something obnoxious that has befallen themselves or others.

Before we knew it,there we were,at the end.(Or as you’d want to put it ‘until next time’! )
Time.
Living without you is probably teaching me more than what I learnt while living with you!
It just gets a little harder every time I hear you say you love me.
I’m afraid. To believe.
And more afraid because I think I do believe.

But,
What about my ‘Plan of Action’ – unusually rational and self-satisfying. For both. Fair enough. Strangers after Love. Life after Life. Made sense.


No it didn’t! As I cruelly understand. Too late to change feelings and god, the inevitable -already befallen. But couldn’t bear to be strangers after love,could we? Could there possibly be life after life?

But life is what happened to me. Just when I was beginning to settle into my empty clan,empty relations,giving in to non-existent feelings,falling from grace because I wanted to. And along came You.

And life is what it is still.Because you stayed.

I know everything happens for a reason. Good things do.

I’m still not sure sure how it is supposed to be.Or how I’m supposed to feel today,at this very instance.
But I know it’ll be all right.This incredible ride.
Up and Down. Falling sideways and then back on Top.
Having you always...With me...In me.






….Sriya Coomer

November 7, 2007

Reservation & Response

Reservation :

Some people always start out with expecting less ,moving free yet cautious, always keeping that in mind(Smart approach to begin with,one I would follow in most liklihood).But eventually the moment comes when those very people free themselves of such reservations.They forget,however, that not everyone(NO ONE to be blunt) in this world cares about them alone.
Because that isn't what human beings are fuckin about!!

Yes, they care about other people, but in RELATION to themselves(like with most other things)...benefiting and assisting only themselves and that's perfectly fine!!

Why the fuck should anyone be a Samaritan or well honestly, in love ?!(Judge me if you want for equating Love with Charity). It is stupid. It does not exist.
And that's perfectly fine too.


But just a fucking blow in the face when you make the mistake to expect.
And believe.
And 'almost' love.

But thank God for the almost.



Response :

Run.

Or better still...Learn to unlearn. And live with it.

Or is it the other way around?



Have no reservations to choose ;)




-Sriya Coomer

November 3rd,2007